Spring Has Sprung - The Root of My Problem

The last frost has come and gone in New South Montucky, at least here in Big Town. It is time to get the yard in shape, the underground sprinklers running, and Echo Juliet has told me that she wants to plant a container garden this year.

I usually don't talk about things that happen away from the airport or out of the cockpit, but this is one of those things that you have to see to believe.

I spent the late part of last week trying to get the underground sprinkler system in our yard online for the summer. It is simple enough. Prime the pump, turn on said pump, open the spigot, and there you have it. Cool, crisp, refreshing water. Oh, but hold on there sparky....There is no water... yet. I let the pump run for 10 minutes only to get a measly trickle.

So, being the handy man that I am, I check all the plugs, fittings and valves for the system, repeat the above steps, only to be rewarded with nothing but a dribble.

The pump was here when I bought the house nearly seven years ago, and I'm sure that it was here many years prior. It is probably in dire need of an overhaul. I'm sure that it is waaaay past TBO and I have just been lucky.

I venture to one of my favorite hauts, Sears - Home of Craftsman Tools. Since the pump is a Sears brand from back in the early eighties, one would assume that the fine friendly folks at the service center would have the necessary parts to complete the overhaul.

The guy that helped me looked like the kid from the Zits comic strip and talked like Screech. They had all the parts I would need for the overhaul. "Order them", I told the young lad.

Clicking the mouse in rapid succession like he was playing an online game about to slay the evil villain, he stopped suddenly, looked me square in the eye and deadpanned, "I'm sorry Mr. Runner sir. They don't make the impeller anymore." Cumulonimbus! That's like a plane with no prop, it ain't gonna fly man!

I guess it is time for a new pump to the tune of about $300.

A couple of days later I stroll into the Turf Depot to purchase my new pump. After chatting with a couple of guys there and a crusty old rancher that happened to be in the store, I came away with a few tricks to try before I spend my hard earned cash on something I may not need. Before I attempt any abracadabra on the pump I decide to give it another whirl. Wouldn't you know it, as luck would have it, the damn thing pumped water like a cow pissing on a flat rock.

Not wanting to fix something that ain't broke, I move on. I go to the controller and one by one turn on each zone in the yard. I then inspect every head in each zone for proper function. All is in order except one head in zone one. It seems to have been sucked into the ground by some unseen force so that it makes a puddle that gurgles and bubbles.

I decide to dig it up and this is what I find.

This tree root has grown over the main supply line and the feeder supply line pulling the head into the ground. (You can see the feeder line, the white part to the right of the root.) The tree is a mature cottonwood about 2.5 feet from the top of the picture. I would love to cut this root out but it is huge, almost 8 inches in diameter and I fear permanent damage to my tree. Notice how the root has grown around the head.

I decide to meticulously dig around the root and supply line, remove the head and then push the supply line under the root to the right and re-attach the head. Sounds simple enough.

Well, two hours later this is what I'm rewarded with.

The damn thing broke off in my hand! Ok well, now for plan B. Back to Turf Depot for supplies. I decide to move the feeder line toward the bottom of the picture and place it away from the root.

Another two hours later this is what I have created.
Ya know it ain't pretty but it will get the job done. I bet in a couple of more years I'm gonna have to do this again. Maybe by that time Echo Juliet and I will have built that little ranch house in the country we have been dreaming about. Then it can be the root of someone else's problem!